Lord, If Only I Were a Barbie Doll

Lord - if only I were a Barbie Doll my waist would still be tiny, my boobs perky, my hips slender, my legs long. All of my friends would like me because I'd be just as attractive as they are - maybe more so! I could spend my day decorating my Barbie Dream House or driving my sports car over to see my friends who change their clothes for every activity and spend their wealth on another new ensemble for the closet. I would be irresistibly attracted to Ken (and certainly not Midge), although in secret I may take note of GI Joe because you know what they say about a man in uniform!

Lord - in my Barbie world, I'd make it a crime for women to let their hair turn gray and their butts grow big. All women would have to go to a salon to get their hair done each week and buy a membership in a fitness club. I wouldn't have to consider how other people's lives are different from mine, because they'd all be perfect, like me!

Please Lord - don't you see? You've made a mistake. I know what things are truly important. Please make me a Barbie doll - NOT!

Microcosm

I struggle with having a philosophy for life that aligns with being a "conservative" democrat or a "liberal" republican. I do not feel that either political party does a sufficient job of stating a platform that speaks for me as a citizen. I doubt that I'm the only one. As the director of an entity that provides services for retirees, I got to thinking how that population is a microcosm of the larger population's relationship with government.

Usually there are three choices for living out the final third of our lives. Some retirees tenanciously cling to independence and self-sufficiency; others seek communal living in exchange for a fee. Yet another growing trend is for people to continue living in their own homes while paying for services that include food, home maintenance, access to healthcare (or continuum of care), transportation and fellowship. The key to which option is chosen boils down to TRUST. It's imperative that retirees receive full disclosure about what services they will get in exchange for their money, and assurance that they will not be taken advantage of by increasing fees while decreasing services.

The American public is the same. Our grave disenfranchisement with out government stems from pillage that has happened to both political parties. Perhaps I'm a Pollyana to believe things have gotten worse, but today's media spells out for us just how morally corrupt, deceptive and fiscally irresponsible the politicians are that we elect to office. And then we wonder why a need as basic as providing healthcare for all American people hasn't passed. No one knows who they can trust. Until there is complete disclosure about the type of healthcare we will receive and the amount of taxes we will be assessed, as well as assurance that we will have reputable leadership providing oversight, I worry that we may never get there.

Precious People

As the Director of the Shepherd's Center, I am in awe at how my feelings about my job have evolved. A job's a job - right? No, my job is a blessing. I have loved many things that I have done through the years, and have felt that I was pretty good at each of those jobs, but this is the first time that I can say that I LOVE the people that I serve. Today I wrestled with the decision about cancelling programs tomorrow due to bad weather, but the bottom line was that I had to base my decision on what I felt was best for members. If any of them slipped, fell or were involved in an accident because I had neglected to cancel, it would have killed me. I digressed and started thinking about what I would do without this or that person when it struck me just how cohesive these members have become over the past couple of years and how each volunteer has pulled together with others to strengthen our program. When I was hired I had hoped that I would make a positive impact on this organization. Little did I know what an impact all of them would have on me.

Stewardship

A recent column in the Cap-Journal from a man seeking to find his father's birth parents commented on a baby being left on the doorstep of a home that is no longer there. Last year a visitor rang my doorbell. A grandson from Texas of the original owners of my home wanted to see the family homestead. The built environment anchors us in our life stories. When my grandparents' home burnt down, I was devastated. I felt like an orphan. Some disasters cannot be prevented, but too many times people allow houses to fall into disrepair or to be chopped up into rentals they can bleed dry and then demolition. I recognize that it is highly subjective whether a house is worth saving and restoring but remember one thing . . . this was somebody's home. If we are good stewards in maintaining a house through the years, we are preserving somebody's memories, not to mention preserving a "marker" in our heritage and history. It is important that we develop a sense of stewardship of our built environment to stop urban decay and urban flight.

Venting

They say you should never act when you're mad, but writing is very cathartic for me. I'm mad about health care issues! I got hit with a double whammy this week. Whammy #1 - Happy New Year from BC/BS, "we've reviewed your coverage and have increased your premium $47 more each month." I suppose the review showed that I went to the dentist and had a root canal. Because of my husband's health issues, I routinely let my own health slide because who can afford to pay medical bills on more than one person at a time? I wondered how much MORE my insurance would have increased had I gone for care more than once this past year.

Whammy #2 - we get a bill from the hospital for almost $500 in charges from when Mike was in the hospital in October 2008. Mind you this is the first time we have even seen these bills from hospitalization 15 months ago. Is it possible that a mistake has been made? Maybe so . . . but guess who now has to dig out all the old bills to try to reconcile something that we thought had been completely paid? ME! I swear they do stuff like this to drum up business, because my blood pressure is going to land me in the emergency room some day. And yes, I'll get excellent care but I'm PAYING FOR IT!!!!!!!

Hibernation

"To pass the winter in a dormant state." Has anyone besides me had a really hard time getting motivated after the Christmas snow? While we were still having family gatherings, and the house had all the halls decked, and calorie-laden goodies tantilized my senses, I enjoyed the cold, snowy weather which set the stage. Now? Now all I want to do is sleep. The only one around our household affected more is my Jack Russell terrier who lays around with sad eyes. If he could talk, he would say, "No bark park, no walks, no sunshine - and I hate this miserable coat that you put on me whenever I go out to pee."