Lord, If Only I Were a Barbie Doll

Lord - if only I were a Barbie Doll my waist would still be tiny, my boobs perky, my hips slender, my legs long. All of my friends would like me because I'd be just as attractive as they are - maybe more so! I could spend my day decorating my Barbie Dream House or driving my sports car over to see my friends who change their clothes for every activity and spend their wealth on another new ensemble for the closet. I would be irresistibly attracted to Ken (and certainly not Midge), although in secret I may take note of GI Joe because you know what they say about a man in uniform!

Lord - in my Barbie world, I'd make it a crime for women to let their hair turn gray and their butts grow big. All women would have to go to a salon to get their hair done each week and buy a membership in a fitness club. I wouldn't have to consider how other people's lives are different from mine, because they'd all be perfect, like me!

Please Lord - don't you see? You've made a mistake. I know what things are truly important. Please make me a Barbie doll - NOT!